Masks
by kat009
Summary: Kakashi returns to Konoha after a four-year long mission to find that Sakura has grown from a girl to a woman while he wasn't there, and she's hiding a dark secret. How will he react to this transformation? M for language and future citrus.
1. Chapter 1

Masks

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A/N: This is slightly AU, only in that I haven't watched Naruto in a long time and I don't really remember what happens. If I get anything wrong plot-wise, just try and ignore it.

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"How did I feel? Vulnerable."

_One gloved hand held her throat, while the other fumbled for the hem of her dress. He was moving too fast, but time was moving far too slow. She told him to stop, but he continued to touch her, to press her against the fence._

"Helpless and weak are two other words that come to mind."

_His breathing was muffled by the mask covering his face, as was his voice when he told her that he was going to kill her._

"And then something clicked. I knew it wasn't just talk - I knew that he would kill me if I didn't do something. I had to fight."

_Chakra gathered in her fist, her arm tingling with the sheer power of it. He would never expect a pink-haired little girl in a sundress to drive her fist straight through his stomach._

Her eyes were hard as she described the first time she had killed another human being. "I was surprised at how effortless it was - I didn't even feel the scrape of his ribs or his spine snapping against my knuckles. I only realized what I had done when I felt how warm his blood was on my forearm."

_Each footstep was unbearably loud as she trudged towards the Hokage's tower, his insides coagulating and dribbling off of her fingertips. She suddenly noticed that she was sobbing, the tears streaming down her face. Her neck was sore from the grip of his gloved hand - her dress was torn. _

"Tsunade was terrified that I was hurt, but I was just hurting because of what I was done." She smiled humorlessly, "I mean, I'm a kunoichi. I'm okay with pain. But no matter how much he deserved it...I didn't ever plan on killing him."

She set down her coffee cup. "I think that what I did to him was more traumatic than what he almost did to me."

"So it wasn't just an excuse." Kakashi gave her a short smile, taking a sip of his own coffee. He had pulled down his own mask at her request, given how serious she had seemed. Besides - what was the point in keeping his face hidden when Sakura was now a friend and a peer? The mystique of the mask was only there to keep people distant...and he didn't want to be distant from his students any longer. "And you were how old?"

"Fifteen."

"And now..."

"Eighteen." She looked him firmly in the eye, clasping her hands together and getting very quiet. "You know...I haven't talked about that since the night it happened. And the only other person who knows is Tsunade." She smiled. "I've missed you, Sensei."

He didn't know if it would be appropriate to say that he had missed her too - he just smiled instead. "And you're a jounin now?"

"Mmhm. And as of last year, I'm the top field medic in Konoha."

"I wouldn't expect anything less."

They grew silent, and the ticking of the clock got loud. "It's getting late," she said, "You planning on seeing someone else tonight or are you going home?"

"I think I'll probably just go home and -"

"Oh! I almost forgot!" Sakura suddenly rushed off down the hall, presumably to her bedroom. Kakashi waited patiently until she came back, a potted plant in her hand. "Mr. Ukki is glad you're home," she said with a smile on her face, "And I'm sure he's looking forward to sitting on his very own windowsill again."

Kakashi took the cactus from her with a smile. Honestly, he wasn't looking forward to returning to his dusty, uninhabited-for-four-years apartment. It was going to take some serious cleaning to make the place inhabitable again, and Kakashi wasn't exactly fond of cleaning...

"You know, you can just crash on the couch if you want. I know it's not all that comfortable, but I always like to stay at Naruto's place the first night I get back from a long mission."

"I wouldn't want to impose -"

Sakura grinned. "Oh come on. That's what friends are for. And after you listened to me whine all night about my sordid past, it's the least I can do."

----

By the time the clock struck twelve, Kakashi was settled into Sakura's living room with a pillow and a blanket, comfortable in nothing but his loose pants and the pair of boxers underneath. He stared up at the ceiling, blissfully happy to be sleeping in a friend's apartment rather than under the stars or at a seedy inn.

She had changed.

Some of her innocent qualities had remained - her tendency of being loud and interrupting people without malice - her obvious compassion for the people she cared about. But she was also completely different. No matter how much she would like to deny it, she had been jaded by her experiences while he was gone - and he highly doubted that her first, albeit traumatic, kill had been the only thing that had changed her.

She wasn't the only one in denial either. Kakashi only kept his eyes open because when he closed them he saw her smile in the darkness, her long rosy hair, her stunning green eyes, not to mention her perfectly

sculpted, lithe body, now clothed in a ninja's traditional black rather than red. She was beautiful.

Seeing as this was his first, and only, batch of students, he had no experience with this. He had spoken with some friends who said that their students always remained children in their eyes; others had become good friends with former students, growing to be equals.

It was hard to see Sakura as a child when she carried herself with such strength. She was a woman now, and that was for sure. It was amazing how fourteen years seemed like such a big difference when he was the teacher and they were the students, and those years now seemed like such a small gap.

As he fell asleep, he wondered how many men she had been with. He wondered if she had gotten together with Sasuke after he had returned to the village, or with Naruto, or some other lucky young man. And it might have been the fatigue talking, but he also wondered if she would ever consider being with him.

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AU: I know it was short but, with any luck, it's just the start of something bigger. I'm planning three or four chapters, and I'm usually pretty committed to finishing fanfics so...keep posted!


	2. Chapter 2

Masks

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Quiet rustling noises brought Kakashi out of his light slumber, as they would any time. He had, of course, had to train himself not to sleep too heavily or his enemies might get the upper hand over him. He didn't think he'd had a full night's sleep since the first time he had been attacked while in that vulnerable state.

He cautiously got up and made his way down the hall. Theories flitted across his consciousness - she was having nightmare; she had a guest; she had gotten up to use the restroom; enemy ninja had infiltrated the apartment. There was nothing he could take out of consideration. It was best to check on the girl, if only for his own peace of mind.

He should have known she would have a pretty, perfect room. The wind was blowing softly through the window, making the white curtains drift lazily; a painted dresser drawer stood against the wall, a menagerie of photographs sitting on top of it. An iron-wrought bed filled the rest of the room, a pink comforter crumpled up on top of floral-print sheets.

Sakura was not a part of this picture.

His heart leapt. Had she been kidnapped? Taken by force? There would have been more of a racket if someone had tried to take her, right? Forcing himself to calm down, he sat down on the bed. "No use worrying about her at this point..." he muttered, "She's an adult. She can fend for herself." She had probably just gone out for a midnight stroll - he couldn't say he hadn't been guilty of the same habit for many years.

Kakashi's mind wandered to the photographs. No harm in checking them out while Sakura was absent. They were, after all, on display for anyone to see...

There had to be at least twenty different framed pictures on the dresser, and many more lying there without frames. The Team 7 photo that he had in his own dusty apartment was the most prominent of the collection, his students' and his own smiling face beaming up at him. More teams - some containing ninja that he had never met, some including his own friends, and some picturing Sakura's peers. Other photos showed Sakura holding the papers for her ascension to Jounin, and both Naruto and Sakura flaunting their new ANBU tattoos. Various parties and events were shown, and a picture of Naruto passed out and drooling finished off the set of framed photos.

The remaining pictures were of individuals. He did not recognize any of them, but he assumed that they were all friends and acquaintances. One in particular caught his eye - a girl with short brown hair, wearing civilian's clothes and smiling at the camera. This was, in itself, a little odd; it wasn't often that ninja associated with civilians, since they led very different lifestyles.

It didn't take long for Kakashi to notice that all of these people were civilians, and that the photographs were newspaper clippings. Names had been stapled to the back of each, along with a date. Some had a black "X" marked through the name. Some were men - criminals, from the look of it - and some were young women.

"What are you doing?"

Kakashi turned with a start to see Sakura standing in the window, a black hood covering her pink hair. He hadn't even heard her come back in. Either her skills had increased, or his own senses were numb from being back in a safe place; maybe it was a combination of both. Whatever the case, he had been caught spying on her.

"I was just...admiring your collection," he said, smiling. He picked up one of the black and white pictures, waving it in the air. "Are these...friends of yours?"

Sakura sighed, looking at the floor and pulling down the hood. "So you didn't really want to see me after all..." Her eyes narrowed. "Tsunade sent you."

----

6 hours earlier

"_I assume you'll be going to see Sakura."_

_Kakashi turned in the doorway of the Hokage's office, pausing to think about it. "Of course. I'll be visiting everyone tomorrow -"_

"_Actually, would you do me a favor?"_

_He raised an eyebrow for her to continue._

"_Sakura has...changed...since you've gone. I need someone who didn't witness this change to find out what she's been up to. Find out if she's okay."_

"_So you want me to spy on her."_

_Tsunade's eyes narrowed threateningly. "Not spying. Just checking up. She's been very distant, and she might be happy enough to see you to open up a little bit."_

"_I doubt it," he retorted, "She doesn't exactly know me."_

"_She may not know you, but she trusts you. That's what matters."_

----

"I did want to see you, Sakura."

The girl rolled her eyes. "I knew it. She just sent you to spy on me. Is that it?" He could tell that she was angry, and that this was some sort of recurring event. He wondered how many more of Sakura's friends had been sent by the Hokage to "check up" on her.

"Check up on you, actually," he replied, using the Hokage's own words. This was getting stranger and stranger by the minute. What could his innocent former student have to hide? "And don't you want to...talk about this? I for one would really like to know why you've got all these newspaper clippings lying around. And where you were. And why the Hokage's worried, since you seem perfectly fine to -"

"Questions, questions," she muttered. Her arms hung at her side insolently, petite hands clenched into fists that he knew could kill a man. "What are you, my father?"

He frowned for more reasons than one - he didn't want her to think that he was being patronizing, plus it was a tad disturbing that he had been fantasizing about her earlier and she was now referring to him as her father. "No. I'm just...a friend."

Her head lifted quickly and she took a step towards him, staring him down. "Friends let their friends know when they're going to be leaving for four years!" Her voice was intense, although she spoke very quietly. "Friends let their friends know that they care." She sniffled, her lower tones weakening as her poise broke down. "They don't just leave to let you wonder where they've gone...if they ever cared at all...if they're ever coming back!"

At this point, tears were rolling down her face. Kakashi awkwardly reached out and pulled her to his chest. He didn't have much experience with comforting young women, but this was what they always did when a girl cried in Icha Icha...although, they usually proceeded to passionately fuck said girl shortly afterward. That wasn't part of the plan for tonight.

"Sorry," he said, "I didn't know..."

"Fuck you." She punched his chest, knocking the wind out of him, right before throwing her arms around him and continuing to cry. He actually stumbled a little bit, weakened by the unexpected blow. "We were so worried about you. Me and Naruto. And of course nobody would tell us anything. I felt like you didn't care at all. Just gone without a word. And then...when I was attacked...I didn't have anyone to turn to...there was nobody I could depend on..."

She looked up at him. "I've done terrible things because of that night."

He would have laughed if it weren't for the intensely serious look on her face. Her eyes revealed her fear...as if she were haunted. "Sakura...I'm sure you couldn't have done anything that terrible..."

"I'll show you."

She ran to her dresser. "All of these people...with the X through their names..." She turned around. "I killed them. I abused my power because I couldn't just leave it up to local law enforcement to protect these women."

Kakashi couldn't believe what he was hearing. She felt guilty about saving people's lives? He knew that the Council didn't often look favorably on vigilante justice, especially by the ninja of the village, but he found it hard to believe that what she was doing was wrong. She must be losing sleep over this, all because she was a hero.

Her fists clenched at her sides. "Did you know that most rapists get away? And even if they're caught, sometimes they get off with fifteen, twenty years?"

"Sakura, it's only understandable, considering -"

"After you left, and that horrible thing happened to me...I realized that I was the only one that I could depend on. And so many girls don't have anyone to take care of them, so I do." She ran her fingers over some of the pictures. "I feel guilt every time I kill another man...but I can't seem to help myself when I know that they will probably live to do the same horrible thing again."

He put his hand on her shoulder as she continued to sift through the pictures of all the men she had killed...and all of the women she had saved. "Killing someone without being ordered to..." she whispered, "...it's so much different than when you're on a mission."

It was at that moment that he noticed the blood on her hands.

"You killed someone tonight," he said, "Sakura, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come in here -"

"No, I'm glad you did," she said, putting a hand over his and squeezing it as if holding on for dear life. "It's time someone intervened. I can't sleep at night...I've cut myself off from Naruto, from all my friends. And it gets worse every day." She turned towards him, "I need help...I need to clean up..."

It took a second for Kakashi to realize that she was talking about her hands and not about her life. "Clean up...right...I can wash those if you want..."

"That would be great," she said, beginning to unzip her black sweatshirt. It took him a second to register that she was going to take off her clothes right here in front of him, but it didn't even seem like she thought it was inappropriate. The zipper of that sweatshirt came down, and Kakashi was forced to suppress another wave of desire as he saw that all she was wearing underneath was chest wrappings. Now was not the time for him to betray her trust. "I normally just use the sink..."

He nodded and, rather than let her continue and take off her pants in front of him as well, he firmly grabbed her shoulders and guided her down the hall to the bathroom. A pair of black pants were tossed out of the cracked-open door a couple seconds later, and he took both the jacket and the pants and threw them into the sink, soaked them in dish soap, then turned on the hot water. It turned a dark pink as it ran down the drain, revealing just how much blood had been spilt that night.

This was turning out to be a twenty-four hours. First he had discovered that his former student had grown into a beautiful woman - and now he found out that she had transformed into some kind of vigilante. When he had returned to Konoha less than twelve hours earlier, he would have never guessed that at one in the morning he would end up washing blood out of his former student's clothes in her kitchen sink...nor would he have guessed that he really wanted to join her in the shower.

That second part was understandable. He had been on the move for most of his time away from Konoha, and had sustained little extra energy to engage in any sort of romantics. Sakura was beautiful, and strong women had always attracted him. Maybe the Icha Icha series really had turned him into a pervert, but it seemed completely logical that he should want her so much - of course, at this hour, it might just be fatigue driving him crazy.

That her habit of killing rapists made her seem vulnerable to him - and all that much more beautiful - was something he couldn't explain.

"Kakashi?" her voice drifted through the bathroom door.

"Yes?"

"Would you bring me a towel?"

He grimaced. Was she trying to tempt him?

When he didn't respond, she simply assumed that he would agree to her request. "They're in the linen closet across the hall!"

Kakashi stalked to the closet, flung the door open, grabbed a fluffy white towel, and passed it into her waiting hand, careful not to let his eyes travel down her arm. This was entirely inappropriate and he was starting to curse himself for staying the night. He grudgingly returned to the sink, scrubbing out the final bits of gore from Sakura's simple disguise.

"Can you talk for a while?"

Taken by surprise yet again, he turned around to see her standing right behind him in black sweatpants and a white tank, her wet pink hair braided and slung over her shoulder. "You're very quiet, you know."

"I know," she said, smiling. She picked up the rinsed-clean clothes out of the sink and carried them to the bathroom, returning a moment later. "So...can you talk? Please don't report me -"

"I'm not going to turn you in, Sakura," Kakashi muttered, "I don't even understand why you feel like what you're doing is wrong."

She sighed. "Like I said earlier...it's different when you kill someone of your own volition. And besides, I'm no assassin. I'm a medic. I save people, I don't kill them."

They both sat down on the couch, Sakura folding her arms over her chest. She looked so vulnerable and innocent like that, not as if she were exacting justice on rapists across Konoha. It reminded him that she really was just becoming a woman, and made him feel all the more guilty about those inappropriate urges he'd been having all night.

He cleared his throat and began to speak. "Well...it seems like you're feeling a bit better."

"I normally do after I've cleaned the blood off my hands," she mumbled, "It makes me feel almost...normal again. Like I'm not a serial killer."

"Sakura, I can't believe you would ever be a murderer," he insisted, "And if anyone were to know...it would be me. I've known you practically your whole life -"

"And you've been gone for four of the most important years of it." She looked away, blushing. "Kami...I'm sorry...you know I didn't mean it that way. Just don't..." Her eyes moved back to his. "Don't pretend like you know me when you so obviously don't."

Kakashi didn't know what to say, mostly because she was absolutely right; he didn't know her, and it wasn't okay for him to judge her character when he had been absent for some of the most pivotal moments in her life. But what else was he supposed to do? She obviously needed advice and counsel, and for some reason he was the only one she had talked to about this morbid habit of hers. How was he supposed to help her without pushing her away? "I think it's time we start to get to know each other again," he said quietly, running a hand through his unruly hair, "But for now...it's best that we just go to bed."

"I normally don't sleep on nights like this," she replied, beginning to get up. "Do you want some coffee -"

He grabbed her hand. "No. I want..." Her turquoise eyes looked into his questioningly, and he was shocked at how beautiful he thought she was. _I want you_, he wanted to say, _I want to make you forget about all of this the best way I know how..._ "...I just want to sleep. And I want you to sleep, because you're obviously not well and you might have a little more peace of mind if you started sleeping on a regular basis."

Sakura hesitantly sat back down, and he hoped she hadn't caught the lust as she'd stared into his visible eye. She had always been good at reading people.

"I just have one favor to ask," she whispered, blushing again.

"Name it," he said confidently, still grasping her hand.

"Would you...Kami, I don't know how to say it. Um..." She closed her eyes, and then all of a sudden threw her arms around his middle, nestling her head into his chest. Her shoulders heaved slowly, and he could feel tears against his still-bare collar bone. This was so, so difficult, but he knew that she probably needed the physical contact - as with many assault victims, it was likely that she rarely let people touch her at all, and for some reason she had decided to open up to him.

"Hold me, please," she whispered.

"Of course."

It was only a couple minutes before she was snoring softly. He carefully got a good hold on her and lifted her up - she should be sleeping in a bed, not on a couch. "Don't go," she murmured through a sleep-fogged voice as he carried her down the hall and to her bedroom.

"I'm not going anywhere," he replied, although he had fully intended on putting her in her bed and getting out of there as fast as he could. He needed a good night's sleep, after which maybe he would stop being so insane and start thinking rationally about the fact that this girl was his student and that he should never, under any circumstances, be attracted to her.

Regardless of that, after lowering her into her bed and pulling the blankets up around her, he got in after her, restricting himself to putting his hand in hers rather than holding her. Propriety was important here; he didn't want her to wake up and realize that she was being spooned by her pervy old sensei.

But he should have known that it wasn't meant to be. By the time he had fallen asleep, she was curled up against his side, her pink lips opened just enough to breathe warm, moist air onto his neck. And no matter how much he tried to hold it back, the only thing he seemed to dream about was having her in a much less innocent way.

----

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! And I hope this wasn't too weird...I thought it kind of was. Trying to balance the horror of Sakura's personal experiences with the slightly comedic tone of Kakashi's feelings for her was difficult.

Please review! You know I love to hear from you if you have any criticisms or compliments!


	3. Chapter 3

Masks

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_Kakashi opened his eyes to see his former student leaning over his sleeping form, her mouth turned up in a smirk - she knew the power she had over him._

_Her lips touched his and he couldn't control himself any longer; he flipped her over, letting his hands roam over her amazing body. She continued to tease him, her arms lying limp at her sides while she gave him that sexy look. She just barely let her fingers drift over him._

"_Touch me," he murmured as she toyed with the hem of his shirt._

"_But I can't," she said, and that's when he looked down to realize her hands were covered in blood - _

Kakashi woke with a start from the first deep sleep he'd had in quite a while. During his four-year-long mission he hadn't exactly been able to relax, and returning to consciousness in the arms of a beautiful kunoichi was the perfect way to spend his first morning back in Konoha.

Wait. What?

Last night's events came rushing back to him. He had only just returned to Konoha after four long years when the Hokage asked him to go and check up on Sakura...come to find out that Sakura was committing murders in the name of justice and that she had almost been raped when she was fifteen...

It was all too much. Not to mention the fact that he woke to find himself quite hard and trapped in the embrace of a gorgeous young woman, which would have been a great thing if that woman had not been his former student. As it was, he didn't know how to get out of this sticky - and thank Kami he didn't mean that in the literal way - situation. The sudden morbidity of that situation had saved him from what was sure to have been an intensely awkward conversation. As it was, he just needed to get from the bed to the bathroom without Sakura waking up to see exactly how he felt about her.

The copy ninja began his attempts to untangle himself from the Hokage's apprentice; one arm had found it's way over his stomach, while the other had ended up wrapped in his hair, and one of her feet was hooked over his ankle. If he didn't know any better, he would have suspected her of trying to keep him in her bed, but he assumed that Sakura was just a restless sleeper. It wasn't long after this thought crossed his mind that he realized she was drooling on his shoulder.

Yes. This was definitely an accident.

He finally found his way out of the labyrinth that was Sakura and padded down the hall to the restroom, turning on the shower and stepping into the cold water. Kakashi shivered in discomfort, but welcomed this small punishment. Now was not the time to be having erotic dreams about a girl fourteen years his senior - a girl who, coincidentally, had been assaulted by a different man in a mask just a few years earlier. Sakura seemed to need her old Sensei's help, although Kakashi truly felt as if he was not the one to ask for any sort of advice. Wouldn't Naruto have been a better choice? Ino? Hinata? Sakura had plenty of friends. Why did it have to be Kakashi that she finally confided in about her own personal killing spree?

He heard footsteps in the hall and quickly turned off the shower, grabbing a white towel off of a shelf and wrapping it around his waist. Right on cue, the door swung open and Sakura stepped into the light. Her braid had come undone at some point in the night and the long pink locks were now woven into a tangled mess instead. The sleep-numbed girl in front of him was completely different from the lethal woman he had talked to last night.

She blinked a couple of times and then her eyes widened. "Oh. Oh, Kami," she covered her eyes with her hands, turning around abruptly. "Sorry!"

The door slammed shut again and Kakashi stood there for a moment in silence before Sakura's muffled voice came from out in the hall. "Sorry! Um...when will you be done?"

"I was just getting out!" he replied, toweling off his hair and pulling on his boxers and pants from the day before - which were, he suddenly noticed, quite dirty. He hadn't had time to go back to his own apartment and change, so he was still wearing the same black jounin uniform he had on for the last few days of his mission. It was time to go back there and start making it feel like home again.

When he opened the door Sakura slid past him and shut the door behind her without a word. Soon he heard the shower come on and decided that he should go make himself some coffee before he started fantasizing about what she was doing in there...rubbing soap all over her body...combing her fingers through her hair...

_That's enough,_ he thought to himself in frustration. He wondered if he should leave right then, but thought better of it - Sakura would probably be upset if he took off without even saying goodbye, while she might be appreciative if he went ahead and made some coffee for the two of them. For a second he thought he might make breakfast as well, but quickly decided that was overkill; he didn't need any more reasons to feel like he was her lover. Women had breakfast made for them by their lovers, not their pervy old teachers.

The girl's behavior had been odd that morning, Kakashi observed as he sipped his coffee. He couldn't help but wonder why she had decided not to speak to him that morning. Sure, she had seen him in nothing but a towel, but he had suspected that she would have laughed about it after the initial shock. But no - she had seemed extremely embarrassed when he had walked out of the bathroom and she had taken his place inside. He hoped she hadn't noticed his condition when he had gotten out of bed this morning.

In a matter of minutes the shower had turned off and Sakura was in the kitchen, making herself some coffee. She sat down across from him, a tired smile on her face. "I'm glad you stayed," she said quietly, "I thought that you would have left this morning...probably have something to do."

Kakashi smiled back. "Nope. I have a few weeks of downtime before I leave again." Sakura's face fell and he realized what he had just said, "I mean, not as if I'm going to be gone for that long," he continued, "I was just saying that it will be a couple weeks before I'm assigned to anymore missions. Nothing more than a month or two, hopefully."

Her eyes brightened again and his heart clenched in his chest. _Why do I feel this way about her?_ he wondered.

"I'm glad," she said, "But...if you don't mind me asking, why don't you want to go on anymore long-term missions. I mean, you're a valuable asset to the village -"

Kakashi smiled again, even going so far as to show his teeth a little. "Is it so hard to believe that I missed my old students?"

Sakura snorted, a chuckle escaping her pretty pink lips. "Whatever you say."

He didn't let on, but he felt a bit guilty at her response. Did she really think that he didn't care enough about her or Naruto to come back for them? Yes, he had always been rather distant with the people he cared about, but he had hoped that those kids had known how much he cared about them. He opened his mouth, then shut it again. He didn't really know what to say; had he ever really shown them that he cared? His long, unannounced absence had probably been enough of a sign to Sakura that she and Team 7 meant nothing to the copy ninja.

Kakashi normally didn't feel guilt, but he was definitely feeling it now.

Sakura cleared her throat, rising from the table with her coffee. "So...I guess I'll see you around town then."

Kakashi's eyes widened imperceptibly as he tried to hide his surprise from her. "You don't want to talk about last night?"

Something flickered through her green eyes, but it was gone in a second, her head shaking. "Just...try to forget about that," she said quietly, "I was tired and emotional, and I shouldn't have gotten you involved." She looked away from him. "Just...please don't report me."

Kakashi stood as well, putting a hand on her shoulder. "I won't," he murmured, "Of course I won't."

Her eyes met his and he couldn't help but smile at the thankful look he found there. "Thank you, sensei," she said, smiling back.

----

As he left Sakura's apartment, Kakashi knew that she was doing the same thing to him that she claimed she had done to Naruto and her other friends: she was pushing him away. Of course, it had to fall onto _his_ shoulders to take responsibility for not letting her cut herself off, when he was probably the worst person he knew for that job. But he couldn't tell anyone her secret, and he had to be there to support her.

Kakashi sighed. Just one day back and already things were even more complicated than usual. When he was Sakura's age he had thought he would be long past the teen-drama phase of his life by the time he was in his thirties, but it seemed that he was going to be dragged back into that situation, whether he liked it or not.

She had confided in him, and he had a responsibility to take care of her. He needed to push any inappropriate feelings aside and start acting like her mentor again, seeing as how he'd done such a horrible job at that before. Obviously she needed some sort of confidante...and for some reason, she had chosen him.

He spent the day trying to clean up the massive amounts of dust that had set settled on every last surface in his abandoned apartment, pausing only to go and eat lunch at Ichiraku with Naruto and to bring his clothes from the mission to the laundromat downstairs. The next few days were a blur of wonderful monotony: turning in some mission forms, debriefing with Tsunade, meeting up with friends for drinks. It seemed as if he had never been gone at all. At the end of his fourth day home he settled into his small, nondescript bed with his favorite of the Icha Icha books, suddenly realizing that he was blissfully happy to be back in his one-room apartment.

When he woke up in the darkest hours of the morning, he hadn't even realized that he had fallen asleep with the book on his chest. The digital clock on a small nightstand by his pillow informed him that it was just past three in the morning, and his ears let him know that somebody was repeatedly knocking on his front door. He frowned, did his best to blink the sleep out of his eyes, and went to see who it was that was causing such a commotion at this ungodly hour.

As soon as he opened the door a bloodied girl clad all in a black stumbled through the entrance. He knew immediately who it was, and he quickly pulled down his mask so that she wouldn't feel uncomfortable when she saw his face. "What happened?" he muttered, practically dragging her over to his bed to lie down. She winced, gesturing at her arm.

"The asshole got me..." she said angrily. Her uninjured hand clenched into a fist and she beat it against his bed, making the entire thing shake.

Kakashi frowned. "Somebody actually got a hit in on you?" he said, looking her over to see if she had any other injuries. The only thing that stuck out was the nasty cut - probably from a knife, Kakashi guessed - running down her forearm. It was not in a good place at all; she would need medical attention before she lost too much blood.

"No, I tripped and fell," she spat at him sarcastically, "Anyway...could you fix me up? I'm hurting a lot here, so if you could just go ahead and heal that over for me I can handle the rest myself..."

"Of course," he replied, and then held his hand over her wound. He had received basic training as a medic when he was working towards becoming a jounin, and the skill had never faded away. He could at least stop the bleeding, although if it were only his responsibility there would have been a nasty scar. Sakura made sure that wouldn't happen, taking over for him when he had done all he could. He assumed that she had used up some of her chakra fighting whoever had done that to her, otherwise she wouldn't have even come to his apartment for help. He vaguely wondered how she even knew where he lived, dismissing it when he realized that there were more pressing matters at hand. "Did the guy who did this follow you here?" he asked cautiously.

"Fuck no." Sakura's face took on a hybrid of a scowl and a smile and she went on, "That son-of-a-bitch is dead. I just...needed someplace to go to rest and get healed."

He honestly wondered why she had chosen to come here. She could have easily gone to one of her other friends - perhaps one that hadn't been avoiding her for four days? Kakashi had to admit that he had been steering clear of his former student since he'd gotten home, mostly because he kept on having sex dreams about her, and that was never a good thing. He hadn't planned on staying away from her after she had made that confession to him the night he returned, but it seemed necessary until he could get some hold over his feelings.

They were both silent as she finished up with the cut. Kakashi couldn't help but admire her handiwork as she ran her hand over the freshly healed skin - it looked as if there had never been a scratch on her. She looked it over herself, sighed, and then fell backwards onto his bed.

Kakashi jumped up to see if she was alright, only to see that she was laughing. He frowned at her in frustration - he had honestly thought that maybe she had depleted too much chakra and passed out. Sakura eyes met his and she stuck her tongue out at him, not realizing how much that made him want to lean down and kiss her. "You thought I was hurt? You really have been gone a long time, Sensei."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Were you trying to scare me?"

She smirked. "Nope. I'm just tired." She tugged at the blankets around her and then shoved at him with her foot. "Now move. I'm going to sleep."

Kakashi's eyebrow somehow moved up even further, not moving from his spot on the side of the bed. "Oh really?"

"Yes, really," she shot back at him, "After avoiding me for so long when I was so hospitable to you when you got back, I feel it's only just that you let me sleep over."

He didn't really have anything to say to that, and he promptly fell silent. Sakura didn't respond for a minute and then she sat up, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I...I'm sorry I said that." She moved quickly and then she was out of his bed, fixing up the sheets and tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "I understand why...why you wouldn't want to see me."

He looked up at her, wishing he could just tell her now. "Sakura, that's not why..."

"No, no, I get it, really," she said, "You don't have to make up excuses."

He grabbed her hand as she went to leave, and she snapped her head around to look at him, obviously confused. "No. Stay. I insist." He got up, motioning at the couch. "I'll just...sleep over there."

Was she really so desperate for company that she had decided to guilt him into letting her spend the night at his house? She was behaving oddly again, but he decided not to read into it too much. It was time to go back to bed.

----

He had hoped that maybe, just maybe, he would have been spared a dream about Sakura tonight, but this one was even more realistic than the others. She was beside him, her fingers woven into his, and she was whispering in his ear. He tried to listen, but couldn't seem to make anything out...

...he listened a little more intently, and that's when he realized that he was no longer asleep, but the sensation was the same.

A small laugh emerged from her lips as he tried to hide the fact that he had woken up. It was difficult, considering that he was in shock...and that his hands were aching to touch her. She continued to speak, and he had a hard time keeping his surprise a secret. "You know...I had the biggest crush on you right before you left. For about six months, I guess, I tried to find out everything about you. And it was creepy, but you never let us know anything about your past, so I found out for myself. And then when you left, I was angry and I was sad...I cried for weeks...and I lost faith in the people who supposedly cared for me." Her hand fell to the floor. "Why did you leave without even saying goodbye...?"

He wanted so badly to apologize - to tell her that he never meant to hurt her. He hadn't ever believed that his absence could impact her so deeply. He moved his hand a little, trying to pretend like he was just moving in his sleep, and grasped hers. She gasped as he murmured an apology in what hopefully sounded like a sleep-muddled voice, and then she jerked her hand away and was out the door in a second.

Kakashi lay there for a moment, pondering whether it would be better to go after her or just talk to her the next day. He had never understood women, and this had to be one of the most perplexing situations he had encountered. He had just apologized, and her only reaction had been to run away? It didn't make any sense at all.

He rolled over, sighing. There was no use in chasing after her tonight, when she would probably just run away again. It would be better to save this conversation for another day.

----

**A/N:** Heeey guys. This might be seriously flawed, but this is really a just-for-fun kinda story. I'm working on another fic right now called Body in a Box that's taking the vast majority of my fanfiction-writing energy, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway!

There will probably only be another one or two chapters, so just keep posted! Now that I've already started another project, I'll try to finish this one up quickly :)

--Kat


	4. Chapter 4

Masks

* * *

Kakashi was, unfortunately, not able to go and see Sakura during that day. He was summoned by an ANBU operative to go and meet with a team about intel he had collected on his mission, and the debrief ended up taking most of the day. By the time he left the ANBU offices it was already dark outside. It was a Friday night so the streets were crowded with people, and Kakashi took a side road to avoid the masses. He was about halfway to Sakura's house when he heard some sort of scuffle and turned into an alley to investigate.

To call this a scuffle would be an understatement. The minute he turned into the alley he could smell the blood in the air, and then he caught sight of two figures. One of them was, quite obviously, on the verge of the death, and the other was beating the former into a bloody pulp.

The aggressor looked up at Kakashi and he immediately recognized her face.

Sakura.

She leapt away from the scene, leaving the copy ninja torn over whether he should check up on the beaten body in the alley or go after her.

Growling in frustration, he ran over to the man as he drew his last breath. "Damn it, Sakura," Kakashi muttered. This man was dead, and even if he hadn't been, what would have been the point in healing him? He would have been horribly disfigured for the rest of his life, if the amount of blood was any indication of how deep the injuries went.

Kakashi jumped up to the rooftops, making his way towards Sakura's apartment. Where else would she go, when she had to be covered in blood?

But then...she wasn't there when he arrived. He took a seat on the couch, pulling down his mask and taking his little orange book out of his pocket. If she wasn't going to talk to him then, he would just wait until she got home.

* * *

It had been at least an hour by the time he heard her moving in her room. He quietly made his way down the hall, trying to keep his presence hidden as much as possible, but he could tell that she knew he was there when he entered the room. Her shoulders tensed and she refused to look at him when he cleared his throat. "Where did you go?" he asked.

She kept her back turned to him, her arms crossed in front of her. "The memorial stone," she said angrily. Her head whipped around and she fixed her eyes on him. "You were awake the whole time I was talking about my little crush on you and you didn't say anything," she spat out, "Great job gaining my trust again, Hatake."

His name was practically a slap in the face - she had never called him by anything but "sensei" or his first name. The way she said it made him feel like he was the enemy. He clenched his fist, taking a step towards her. "Sakura -" He fished around for something, anything, to say that could possibly diffuse this situation. "Did you think I wouldn't hear you?"

No reaction other than a further narrowing of her eyes. This was going nowhere, after she had finally opened herself up to someone.

"Alright. OK."

She gave him an appraising look, encouraging him to go on.

"I didn't say anything because I'm a perverted old man who...just so happens to be uncontrollably attracted to you."

She stared at him for a minute, and then barked out a laugh. "What?"

"I didn't want to take advantage of you."

"Take advantage of me?" she snorted, although he couldn't figure out why she would possibly be amused. "Kakashi. I know it's crazy, but...I'm a grown-up now."

"But I'm...old." Her gaze turned quizzical - maybe even judgmental. Was she disagreeing? "I'm old and perverted and you were weak -"

In what seemed like less than a second, she was right in front of him. "Weak?" she growled out. At this point, he wasn't sure how to respond. She was angry, offended by something he had said, and had apparently gained a significant amount of strength and skill since he had last seen her. He hadn't been expecting her rapid approach.

"What I meant to say is-"

She pushed a finger to his lips. "No. Stop. I have...questions."

He nodded, keeping his mouth shut.

"You...are attracted to me?"

Another nod.

"And you've been avoiding me because you couldn't control yourself?" Another nod and she let her finger slip away from his lips, closing her eyes. "Then lose control."

"You...you want me to..."

"I want you to kiss me," she said, keeping her eyes closed, her voice hesitant yet forceful. "I want you. Right. Now."

In the split second it took him to decide, Kakashi had many thoughts - that this was wrong, but that it was going to feel so right...he wondered if he was dreaming, and he wondered if this would be the first time she had been kissed since the incident.

But there wasn't time for random musings. She was giving him an opening and he couldn't resist her anymore.

He didn't want to be violent or forceful, despite how strong the urge was to crush his lips to hers and throw her down on the bed right then and there. Kakashi knew that underneath the tough front she put on, she was still the romantic girl he had known all that time ago, and she not only needed but deserved sensitivity.

He leaned down and, without touching her anywhere else, gently pressed his lips to hers. She responded instantly, and he felt a stab of guilt at her overeager response - it was an indicator that she had never done this before. She reached for him and he took her hands lightly. "You just relax. Let me," he said. He squeezed her hands - she was trembling.

"I'm sorry. I don't...do this very often," she whispered.

"It's OK," he murmured, and then pressed a harder kiss against her, pushing his tongue hesitantly between her lips. She sighed, and the sound made him twitch dangerously. This was going to be an exercise in discipline. Now he allowed himself to put his hands in her hair, pushing the black hood off of her head. Her long pink locks had just been stuffed into it, and they fell out with ease, pooling around his fingertips as he massaged her scalp. She twisted her hand into his shirt, yanking him closer and pulling him harder against her.

"I know you're just trying to be considerate...but you're driving me crazy right now," she said against his mouth, her tongue flicking out against his lips. He should have known she would be impatient.

"So you want me to go faster?" he said quietly. He picked her up suddenly, and she was laughing when he sat her down on the bed and then climbed on top of her, pressing his mouth to hers and following her as she lay back. Her hands were on him, feeling every square inch of his muscular back, his neck, and then his ass. He couldn't suppress the groan that welled up in him, or his rapidly growing erection. Her legs were spread beneath him and, even through their clothes, she was soft and warm. He slid his hand underneath her shirt and she shuddered a bit. "Are you OK with this?" he questioned.

She opened her eyes and looked into his, and without a word grabbed his wrist and moved his hand to rest on her still-wrapped breast. He could feel her fidgeting with her wrappings as well, and soon they came free, loose against his hand.

He pulled her up, yanking her shirt off over her head. Screw sensitivity - she seemed as rushed as he was. Her breaths were coming in short gasps, and she was smiling when the shirt passed over her face, her bindings slowly coming undone. He forced himself to stop for a moment, his hand on her face. "How much do you want from me?" he questioned. He had to be sure - he wanted her so badly.

She looked down bashfully, and then her own hands went to the hem of his shirt, teasing it up. "When I said I want you...I want all of you. Tonight."

That was all the permission he needed. A rush of flying clothes and quickly-moving fingers and finally they were both bare from the waist up. He pushed her down, placing butterfly kisses all down her neck and then to her collarbone. He sucked on her shoulder, her chest, and then trailed down to her nipple, finally capturing it in his lips after what seemed like an eternity. She arched up into him with a strangled moan, driving him crazy. He couldn't control his thrust against her, and she seemed to respond to that too, opening her legs wider and wrapping herself around him like she was a part of him. One hand moved into her hair while the other went to her other breast, flicking her in that tender spot and then squeezing gently. She was going wild, squirming against him and driving him closer and closer to just ripping off her pants and finishing right then and there. But no - she was still worth more than that. He began to kiss lower, running his tongue along her ribcage while still playing with her hard nipples. When he pulled on the waistband of her pants, she responded instantly, her hips moving hard against his and driving him slowly insane.

He pulled her pants off then, moving away from her for a precious few seconds and looking at her flushed form beneath him in the moonlight. She had to be one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen like this - in nothing but a pair of modest pink panties, functional yet feminine.

Barely had he registered the look on her face before she suddenly flipped him over onto his back, pulling off his own pants in one fluid motion. He took control again, rolling them back over. "Don't rush," he leaned down to whisper in her ear.

She shuddered at the sensation of his breath. "Sorry..." she murmured, "I said I'm nervous."

"I know." His hand trailed down her stomach and then toyed with the waist of her panties before slipping inside. She gasped when he made brief contact with her swollen pearl, and he smiled against her neck. "Relax..."

The tension in her ebbed just a little bit before returning when he began to stroke her up and down, just barely getting close to her opening and slowly bringing her to the edge. Low moans escaped from her throat as he continued, moving his finger in a rhythmic pattern. "Oh shit..." she muttered, sucking in a breath. He laughed into her hair, moving his finger in a circular pattern, teasing her, and she asked for more with a thrust of her hips. He gave more, carefully sliding his finger just inside her opening.

The reaction was stronger than he could have even hoped for. She let out an incredibly sexy, low moan, and he could feel her clamp down around his finger. He slid another in and she writhed against him, driving him to want her even more. He pushed his fingers in farther and he could feel her breath coming in short gasps against his cheek.

He wanted her so badly but was careful to be respectful and gentle - after so long without even touching a man, she had been comfortable enough to give this incredible gift to him, and he couldn't have been more grateful. He showed her just that by wrapping his mouth around her pert nipple once again, teasing her with his tongue on her chest and his hands inside her. Her fingers were scratching his back, but he didn't care - the feeling of her body against his was too amazing for him to even notice the slight pain, and he could barely even imagine what it would feel like to be inside of her. When her mouth opened even more he could tell that she was ready, and in a rush of pleasure she constricted around him and thrust her chest up into his mouth, her breaths coming in short, throaty gasps.

He removed his fingers then, carefully raising his other hand to her cheek to get her attention and brushing it against her face. She opened her gorgeous eyes and looked straight into his eyes, fearless as usual with a slight hint of anxiety. "Do you have protection?"

She smiled as if he had asked some sort of idiotic question. "Kakashi. I'm a medic," she said mockingly, and he wondered how she managed to be so cool in what must be a charged situation.

"You're ready?"

The smirk was still on her face. "If you are."

He rolled her over then, letting her straddle him and feel his hardness against her. She rubbed herself against him, the feeling driving him mad with desire. "Just get it over with," she muttered.

"No...I want this to be good for you. Tell me if you want me to stop."

Holding her hips, he lowered her gently down on his hardness, watching her mouth open in pleasure and knowing that he was doing the exact same thing. As he went in even deeper he heard a feminine growl welling up from her chest, and then he finally was sheathed in her. He began to move her up and down, watching her perfect body rise and fall on his own in a perfect, sensual rhythm. She began to move of her own accord; he should have known that she would be more than ready for this experience.

She leaned over him, kissing him hard while her pace got even faster, so he took a hold of her once again and rolled over, plunging into her with a now comfortable fervor. Her face contorted into what he thought must be the most beautiful expression he had ever seen and she bucked her hips against his - another orgasm.

He also should have known that, as a ninja, she would have ridiculous stamina.

But now he could contain himself no longer. He pressed his mouth hard against hers, letting their tongues fight for dominance as her hand slid down over his ass to touch him even more. Her moans came faster and faster, her hands were in his hair, his hands all over her, and it was too much to bear. He let himself go, unable to stop the unusually loud groan that escaped his lips as she came as well.

He lay on top of her for just a minute before he rolled to his side to take her in his arms. She was still feeling the effects of their endeavors, her body still lithe and moving against him. A contented sigh hummed against his collar bone and, without a word, that was how they fell asleep.

* * *

He didn't want her to wake up just yet.

Kakashi stared up at the ceiling, pondering what had happened just a few hours before. He was in Sakura's apartment, in her bed, her naked figure wrapped around his.

Last night had been like a dream. If the evidence now didn't clearly reflect what had happened, he wouldn't even be sure that what had occurred between the two of them had happened at all. She had asked him to take (what he assumed to be) her virginity and he had complied, not even thinking about the consequences. She had been emotional and he had taken advantage of her. Maybe he should just leave now...leave again and never come back.

But no - not only would that be wrong but it would also be difficult, as the pink-haired kunoichi was still clinging to him while she slept.

Sunlight crept through the window and Kakashi watched as his former student's eyes fluttered open at the light filtering past the curtains. He began to extract himself from her embrace, carefully and gently moving the tangle of arms so that he could get out of bed. "Where are you going?" she muttered sleepily.

He just smiled, kissing her forehead. "I'm making you breakfast."

* * *

Kakashi was turning around with a plate of toast and jam in his hand when he saw her sitting at the small dining table, a priceless grin on her face. "Breakfast?" she asked, clearly amused by his antics.

He frowned. "I thought it would be a nice sentiment until I remembered that I don't cook."

She responded with a smile and he enjoyed the comfortable silence, putting the plate in front of her and then grabbing his own and two cups of coffee. She was wrapped up in his discarded shirt, her long hair a complete beautiful mess. They enjoyed their food quietly, and when Sakura was finished she cleared her throat and put down her coffee mug.

"Kakashi?" He looked up and she smiled weakly. "Thank you for...last night...but you don't have to stay and make sure I'm okay."

He frowned. "Sakura, that's not -"

"Hear me out. I have issues and you know that. And I'm not expecting you to stick around because, honestly, if I were in your position I might not be so honorable. I was emotional and you were tired and I think it's best if we -"

He stood up abruptly, walking to her side of the table and taking her hand. "Sakura, come with me."

They walked back to the bedroom, her face a confused mess of hope, satisfaction, fear, and everything in between. They stood in the exact same place as they had last night when she had asked him to do that with her - when everything had changed - and he put his hand against her face. "Sakura. This is me, the morning after, completely conscious and aware of what happened last night. And I don't know about you, but I've had a little time to think this morning and I'm glad." He kissed her. "Trust me."

It was a lot to ask. He knew that it was going to be a commitment that he had to keep and, for some reason, he was fine with that. In just one week, this woman had changed his world. It wasn't often that you came across chemistry like that, and he was going to hold on to it.

He continued. "I don't know if this is going to last. I can't make any promises. But I think it's time you started living again...started working out those problems you mentioned earlier. And I want to help."

They stood there for a moment that seemed like forever. And then she turned her gaze back up at him, a smirk on her face again. "Well, I guess we'd better start now...I have a lot of catching up to do."

END

**A/N:** So I fail at updating. But here it is. The end. I could have drawn it out a little longer, maybe given a little more attention to detail, but I figured I would rather give you guys an ending than let this sit around and get even more stale. If they were out of character or the story didn't run true to the anime/manga, sorry! I'm a full-time student now and I've totally lost track of this stuff. In all likelihood this is complete and utter s***, but I hate to leave a story unfinished.

So there you have it. Sorry it took so long! Hope the lemon was good!

-Kat


End file.
